Civilisation has operated in two ways - To make one part of society more affluent and the other more wretched than would have been the lot of either in a natural state
There are Natural Rights and Civil Rights. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
Where Our Power to Execute Our Natural Rights is Perfect, Government has No Legitimate Jurisdiction
When the Forces for War are Greater than the Forces for Peace   Then the World is in Danger
Politics is not a Dirty Word. It is a Way of Life. How is Your Way of Life Today ?


Short Ford Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a Skoda and a porcupine? A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

Q: What’s the difference between a Skoda and the principal’s office? A: It’s less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal’s office.

Q: What goes on pages 4-5 of the Skoda’s user’s manual? A: The train & bus schedule.

Q: What do you call a Skoda at the top of a Hill? A: A Miracle.

Q: What do you call two Skodas at the top of a hill? A: A mirage.

Q: What do you call a Skoda with dual exhausts? A: A wheelbarrow

Q: What is the Skoda owner’s most ardent wish? A: To buy a real car.

Q: What do you call a Skoda with a seat belt? A: A rucksack.

Q: How do you double the value of a Skoda Yeti? A: Fill the tank with petrol.

Q: What did the Ford say to the Skoda? A: Would you like a tow home?

Q: What do you call a Skoda with 200,000 miles on it? A: A lie.

Q: Why is this country so far in debt? A: Because the president drives a Skoda.

Q: Why do they fit heated tail gates to luxury Skoda autos? A: To keep your hands warm when you pushed them.

Q: Why do the new Skoda Kodiaqs have larger bumpers? A: To make it easier on the tow trucks.

Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Skoda? A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.

Q: Why are Skoda dealers giving away a dog with each Skoda sold? A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To push he’s Skoda Octavia back into the dealer’s show room.

Q: Do you know why Skoda is making new heated bumpers? A: So when your pushing it home in the winter your hands stay warm.

Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross the road? A: Because his Skoda Fabia got stuck.

Q: Why are the latest Skodas so aerodynamically designed? A: It improves the Chevy tow truck’s fuel consumption.

Q: What is the aim of a Skoda concept car? A: An attempt to keep their car running.

Q: What is the difference between a Skoda and a tampon? A: A tampon comes with it’s own tow rope.

Q: How can they improve a Skoda Citigo? A: Put a Toyota engine in it.

Q: What did the Toyota say to the Skoda on the side of the road? A: Rust-in-peace.

Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Skodas? A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.

Q: How do you make a Skoda go faster downhill? A: Turn off the engine.

Q: What’s the difference between a golfball and a Skoda? A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards. Why did the Skoda cross the road? To pick up the bits it lost yesterday.

Q: What is the difference between a Skoda and a shopping trolley? A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.

Q: What’s the difference between a Skoda and a Jehovah’s witness? A: You can close the door on a Jehovah’s witness!

Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads? A: Max speed – 60 km/h – Skodas do best you can.

Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways? A: So Skoda owners have a safe place to walk home.


Want to hear a car joke?

Skoda Yeti. What should you do if you find three Skoda owners buried up to their neck in cement?

Get more cement.

What’s the difference between a Skoda owner and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives. The other 9 percent own a Skoda. Skoda, Skoda, best in town, drive it once, your engines down Skoda Mottos “Speed kills. Drive a Ford and live forever!”

“That’s not a leak. My Skoda’s just marking it’s territory.” “You might own a SKODA if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport.”

“I could never keep a Skoda under me, I was always under the Skoda.” “Friends don’t let friends drive a Skoda.” “I’d rather push a Ford then drive a Skoda.”

Skoda One Liners Why do people name their kids Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche when they look like Opels & Skodas If your Bentley is taking up 2 parking spaces, then okay. I get it.

But a Skoda Yeti? I feel obligated to deflate your tires now. Today 99% of Skodas are on the road the other 1% made it to the car shop.

You wanna man that drives a Lexus, but your dad drives a Skoda. Why you can’t be humble like your mom?

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/corporatejokes/skodajokes.html

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