PONDERISMS
>
(some things to think about, but not too
> seriously)
> �
> 1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods
> until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
>
> �
> 2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . .
> The quick and the dead.
>
> �
> 3- Life is sexually transmitted.
>
> �
> 4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible
> rate at which one can die.
>
> �
> 5- The only difference between a rut and a
> grave is the depth.
>
> �
> 6- Health nuts are going to feel stupid
> someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
>
> �
> 7- Have you noticed since everyone has a
> cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
>
> �
> 8- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing
> again.
>
> �
> 9- All of us could take a lesson from the
> weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
>
> �
> 10- In the 60’s, people took acid to make
> the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it
> normal.
>
> �
> 11- How is it one careless match can start
> a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>
> �
> 12- Who was the first person to look at a
> cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever
> comes out’? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .
>
> �
> 13- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
> why is there a song about him?
>
> �
> 14- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room
> when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
>
> �
> 16- If corn oil is made from corn, and
> vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
> �
> 17- Do illiterate people get the full
> effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
> �
> 18- Does pushing the elevator button more
> than once make it arrive faster?
>
> �
> 19- Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of
> the bottle?