Civilisation has operated in two ways - To make one part of society more affluent and the other more wretched than would have been the lot of either in a natural state
There are Natural Rights and Civil Rights. Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
Where Our Power to Execute Our Natural Rights is Perfect, Government has No Legitimate Jurisdiction
When the Forces for War are Greater than the Forces for Peace   Then the World is in Danger
Politics is not a Dirty Word. It is a Way of Life. How is Your Way of Life Today ?


Nelson at Trafalger with the Fairy Lights On

NELSON: Order the signal, Hardy.> > HARDY: Aye, aye Sir> > NELSON: Hold on, that’s not what I dictated to the signal officer.> What’s the meaning of this?> > HARDY:

Jeremy Lada – Fat but not Funny

Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson escapes fresh jam over Nissan Kumquat    Lada – Larder – Fat – OK, Have it Your Own Way ! Who would be a Jeremy ?

Home Security ?- GCH -Q for Queer Branch

I FEEL SAFE AT HOME AT   LAST!   I’ve torn out my alarm system & de-registered from the   NeighbourhoodWatch.   I’ve got two Pakistani flags raised in my front   garden,

Woody for the Trees ?

TWO TREES AND A WOODPECKER    > Two tall trees, a birch and a  beech, are growing in the woods   . A small tree begins   to grow between them, and

An Interesting Case ?

: Fine art   The lawyer says: “I have good news and bad news.”   The CEO replies: “I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first.”  

Speechless ?

***  Unspeakable   A man  walks into his doctor’s office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to  read. It said, “I can’t talk! Help me!”  

E Males and FE Males

One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally retirees’ behavior that was going on…   So He called His angels and sent one to earth

Le or La ?

Male         or Female?  You might not         have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either         male or female.  Here are some examples: FREEZER               BAGS:                They are               male,

Sex Signing for the Deaf

Subject: Two Deaf People   Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn

Questions Questions

UN Telephone Survey     Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the       UN.     The only question asked was:     “Would you please give your

A Drop of the Irish

Irish Sugar Test   One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid

Decisions Decisions

“It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”   A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness.

Ah -The Police

Gotta Love this Policeman… A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes

Parental Education

Old Time Home Schooling Most of our generation wasHOME SCHOOLED in many ways.   1. My mother taught meTO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .“If you’re going to kill each

Former United Kingdom ?

Scotland             ! If Scotland gains its independence after the forthcoming referendum, the remainder of theUnited Kingdom will be known as the “Former United Kingdom” (FUK).In a bid to discourage Scots from

Confucious Did Not Say…

What  Confucius did not say CONFUCIUS  MAY NOT HAVE SAID……but would have, if he had thought a bit  more! Man  who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate  kiss, like

Who wants Sally ?

A contestant, Sally, on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ hadreached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she

Come on Larry

LARRY MAY BECOME MY NEW FAVORITE!!!!   A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid,

R580XD Driver

At  dawn the telephone rings, ‘Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.’‘Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a       problem?’‘Um, I am just


Tolio HONEYMOON…. A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing.

“Income” Tax

One   day…………………….   Myron Greenberg, a wealthy L.A. businessman received       a letter of Audit from the IRS. It really upset him and he called his       accountant, Saul Meyers.   Myron

Old People ?

THIS IS WHY WE LOVE OLD  PEOPLE   A farmer stopped by the local mechanics  shop to have his truck fixed.  They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he 

6 of the Best ?

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in,> > She said: Cheque books.> > > > *****> > The easiest way to make your old car

A Welsh Cow ?

The only cow in a small town in Scotland stopped giving milk. The residents found they could buy a cow from Wales quite cheaply. They shipped the cow from Wales

Naughty Nines or Lines

Nine Thoughts to Ponder   Number 9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world. Number 8 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 7 Good health is merely the slowest

Marriage Humour

Marriage Humour   Wife: ‘What are you doing?’ Husband: Nothing. Wife: ‘Nothing . . . ? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’ Husband: ‘I was looking for

Her Face is not Your Fortune

Keep YOUR wife away from Fortune Tellers!!!!!     In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way

The Banister of Life

As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember……… 1. If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section

Watch and Wait

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens’ Centre. After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show – Claude

The Dentist and a Girl

The Dentist and the Girl   A guy and a girl meet at a bar.  They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.A few


If you can start the day without caffeine,If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,If you can eat


Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I

Its 2014 – But are Making Real Progress

As we progress into 2014, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have littlechance of recovery.

Todays Humour

today’s humour   All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.   One room has a clerk who inputs computerised

Fringe Funnies

Festival’s funniest: 60 best Edinburgh Fringe one-liners, selected by Alice Jones ‘My dad’s a proper family man… he’s got three of them’ Alice Jones Saturday 16 August 2014   With

Affairs of the Heart ?

The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair With his secretary. One day they went to her place And made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep And

Aussie Classic

Chinese in Australia – Classic After living in Shanghai for 50 years a Chinese man decides to move to Australia. He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa.

Senior Password Moment

I think this pretty much covers it.   Senior trying to set a password   WINDOWS: Please enter your new password: USER: “cabbage” WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more

Sheer Cheek ?

The Sheer Nightgown   A husband walks into David Jones to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in

Blonde Mortician sees Black and Blue

The Blonde Mortician   A man who’s just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde undertaker asks the deceased’s wife

Jokes -Fairly Offence Ones

I came out of the chip shop with a meat/potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man, sitting there, said, “I’ve not eaten for

Jokes – New Government Symbol

The guy who thought of this is brilliant – a picture paints a thousand  words?   The New Government  Symbol     THE GOVERNMENT’S NEW SYMBOL IS THAT OF A CONDOM, because

Jokes – Smart Ass?

The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2014!!   SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. ‘Would you like dinner?’, the flight attendant asked John, seated in

Jokes- Alcohol is bad for her legs

Alcohol: Bad for the legs A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches an attractive woman sitting by herself and asks, “May I buy you a cocktail?” “No thank