Jokes

What deep thinkers we men are… I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and

  Subject: “gripe  sheet” It   takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix   one; a reassurance to those of us who fly

Redneck Medical Dictionary       Artery:  Study of paintings Bacteria:  Backdoor to cafeteria Barium:  What doctors do when patients die. Benign:  What you be after you be eight. Bowel: 

Could a Divorce Law Firm Have a Better Name? . . .     This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active.

ROMANCE  “I’m a  bad girl” she whispered “Punish me in a way only a real man can!” “Alright” I  said and left my wet towels on the bathroom floor. “I 

Subject:An   Audience with the Pope One     day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the     Pope was on the same flight.“This is exciting,” thought

  FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a  husband’s point of view)………………By Pam Ayres     The missus bought a Paperback, Down  Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her

Why We Love Children 1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. ‘How do you know that the cat was dead?’ she

As You Mature, It’s The Little Things That Don’t Seem To Matter As Much As They used To! This chick looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said,

I’m     a Man.  I can fix that! Don’t     have a spoon? Seat     belt broken?I     can fix that! (Is that a neck brace you have on?) New     TV too big for

Tarzan   Sex When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to   him, And during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex   ?‘Tarzan

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud  pounding on thedoor.> > The man gets up and goes to the door  where a drunken stranger,

A husband took his wife to play her first round of golf. The wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the

The Darwins   Yes, it’s   that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring   the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious winner: 1. When

Subject:     Men                                                                       When         everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God         appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines:   One         line

 WHY I READ NEWSPAPERS                   Definitely           some classics in these                                                             

Fun   with words     1.   ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds   2.   AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do   3.   BERNADETTE: The act

Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one out of five enjoys it? Why do croutons come in

  How Tory are you? Take this short quiz and find out! Worried you might be just a little bit Tory? 15SundayFeb 2015 Posted by Tom Pride in sarcasm   Worry

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around

I decided to go to the mixed religion seminar for the first time. I sat down and then the Catholic Priest came up to me, laid his hands on my

Tony Blair: I will do what it takes to help Ed Miliband win general election Former Labour prime minister seeks to end talk of rift as officials hold talks over

Subject: : Let these percolate      

Subject: FW: Fw: Parenting !   A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under the awnings.  

Subject: Denmark Road safety with Bikini bandits   Here is an innovative approach to getting drivers to slow down – and perhaps stop texting while driving too.   https://www.youtube.com/embed/CPwW1HlAPys

Choosing a wife:   A man wanted to get married.   He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches

Interview  with 101 year-old Hattie Mae MacDonald of   Feague,  Kentucky:          Reporter:  Can you give us some health tips for   reaching the age of 101?   Hattie:

Trip to Italy A young Ontario woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself

Pharmacist’s morning Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the Pharmacist.He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.

Wheelie bin ticketed for ‘rubbish parking’                                                                                                                                                           A wheelie bin was rewarded with a ticket for badly “parking” on double yellow lines. The warden

Texas Rose     I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a butt-ugly, big old heifer came up behind me, and  slapped

A friend told the blond man: “Christmas is on a Friday this year.” The blond man then said, “Let ‘s hope it ‘s not the 13th.”———————————— Two blond men find

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps.. He was wearing his usual jeans and

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk. The question was worth 70 points or none

So, there’s this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda pissed off because he doesn’t want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent set up, both men fell asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and

FIRST TIME SEX > A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to   meet, and > have a dinner with her parents. > > Since this is such

A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver

Prize winning messages of the year A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied – “My

A chap stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, ‘How long before I can get a haircut? The barber looked around the shop full of customers andsaid, ‘About 2

DON’T  TAKE  LIFE  TOO  SERIOUSLY …..NO  ONE  MAKES  IT  OUT  ALIVE   ANYWAY…..   A Japanese couple is arguing about how to perform highly erotic sex:   Husband: “Sukitaki. mojitaka!”  

Hopefully this will add some cheer to your New Year>>>>>> These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were>>> taken>>> off their car videos:>>>>>> 1. “You know, stop

The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000 His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the

Understanding Engineers #1   Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?” The second engineer replied, “Well, I

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my

      True Friendship   True Friendship… SCOTTISH STYLE!! (None of that Sissy shite) Are ye tired of those piss weak ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never

In order to bring about further integration with the single European currency, the Euro, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the

Strange Senior Moments The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is because otherwise they would have to try to make a living under the laws they’d passed. ____________________________________________